One thing no one ever tells you about being a stay-at-home mom is how lonely it can be. Not that I didn't kind of see it coming, but it's still been more of an adjustment than I thought it would be. Sure I have Jonathan and he's more than happy to be with me all the time and that is sweet and fulfilling, but sometimes I just miss my circle of friends. You see, I really like people (although I have a hard time remembering that at Costco on Saturdays). I love having friends around me. I'm a little embarassed to admit how hard I've cried over various friends that have moved several time zones away. Sure there's phone and email and blogs, but those just don't seem to fill the same void for me as actual face-to-face interactions. I still have friends locally and am making more, but at this stage of life people either seem to think that I'm to busy to do anything with them or that they're too busy to do anything with me, and that makes me a little sad. If we don't have time for people in our lives, what's the point of anything we're doing? I'm really not as down as this post is probably making me sound, but this has just been on my mind this morning. Maybe I should just enjoy the solitude for now because maybe someday I'll be standing in my kitchen with five kids running around, knocking things over, begging for my attention, and I'll miss being lonely. We'll see.
2 comments:
Oh Rebecca! I know just how you feel! (In fact, I was just talking about this very thing with a friend this morning.) While staying home to be a mother is one of the most admirable things a woman can do in this life, it, by its very nature, can be very lonely. Sure there's the playgroup, but I don't know...they're nice women, but the only reason we're friends, really, is because we all stay home with our kids. I'm still trying to figure out how to fix this for myself, though I think one trick is finding a friend who you'd be friends with whether or not you had the common bond of motherhood, realize that you both feel mutually about the loneliness issue, and dedicate yourselves to hanging out just like you would if you were childless, single, and roommates or something. I'm realizing, too, that "waiting" is a key ingredient in this solution, as in waiting for the friend (like the one I was talking to this morning) to hurry up and get through her pregnancy already so that she won't be tied to her desk job and then we can be both friends AND mothers...multiple common bonds! Anyway, good luck. I've also cried over the time zone difference issue. It's hard to be so far away from everyone! Please know you can call me ANYTIME. I'd love to chat and catch up more with you. :)
Lindsay,
Thank you so much for your comment. It's nice to know that I can call you when I need a friend! Yep, I know what you mean about the waiting thing. I have a friend who is just about to have a baby, and I'm anxious for him to come so she won't have to go to her job every day. Good luck to you too!
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